Jumping In, Head First…

It’s a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Being the somewhat hermit that I am, my choices in how to spend it are as follows:

1. Go outside and enjoy the sunshine.
2. Start homework that should have been done weeks ago.
3. Take out another book and read.
4. Start this blog that I have been putting off for some reason for months.

So here I am, with the obligatory “introduction post”. I figure a list sort of thing works well in this type of post, so we will go with that. All of these things will probably come up again in longer posts, so I will try to be as concise as possible.

1. I am still playing with the idea of whether to keep this blog anonymous or come out with who I am. Does it really matter? Both choices have benefits. I would like to post pictures and talk about somewhat personal things, but that means anonymity is out. Opinions are welcomed.
2. I tend to babble about random nonsense. I have been told I type much as I talk. I jump from subject to subject and back again, and sometimes it is hard to keep up. I also tend to go on tangents without fully realizing it.
3. To go along with #2, I have “editors” in my head. I imagine them as little monkeys in suits, looking disgruntled as the walk around with cigarettes and cups of coffee, constantly correcting me. They will make appearances from time to time, and I will probably argue with them.
4. I have been diagnosed with a handful of different “mental illnesses”, including depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD, and some sort of eating disorder. I have a history of self-injury, and still have occasional slip ups. I often feel both lonely and alone, like a failure, and like I’m not made for this world. I love my therapist and have been seeing him for over four years and have made huge improvements in my life, including going back to school.
5. That’s where the “homework” thing comes from. I (hopefully) have one year left to go before I graduate, and one of the many things I had hoped to accomplish this summer was to get a head start on homework. I have failed horribly.
6. I am a wannabe writer. I tend to write poetry more often than prose, and would like nothing more than to sit on the beach with a cup of coffee and write all day. I believe that imagination is just as important, if not more important, than actual knowledge. I am currently suffering from a huge case of writer’s block, which is both frustrating and also why homework is not getting done. (See how everything ties in here!) I am hoping this blog turns into more than just a bunch of random words that no one reads. I will probably post some poems, though I am extremely hard on myself and I think everything I write sucks.
7. I tend to be sarcastic, and swear more than I should. I think political correctness is out of control. I say a lot of things that I regret, but I also try and say what I feel when the moment hits. I try not to hurt peoples’ feelings, but I know I do anyway. I have learned that people hurt each other, I have been hurt more than I can count, and we have the choice to get over it or let it eat us up.
8. I am addicted to Harry Potter. I just got my first HP tattoo. I am a proud Hufflepuff, with Slytherin tendencies at times. If you have only seen the movies and never read the books, you are missing out. Go. Now. Read them.
9. I am single, and at this point, given up on love a bit. I am one of those ridiculous, pathetic, hopeless romantics who’d rather curl up on the couch watching a movie than go out to a party. I give my all in relationships and expect the same, which is why I am single I’m sure. But as much as I try to completely give up and become a non-Catholic nun, I can’t seem to let go of that stupid “happily ever after”, even though I am knocking on 40.

So what makes this blog different than the millions of other blogs out there? Why should you follow me? Who the hell knows. I don’t know what this blog will turn into. An outlet of some sort. I am someone who likes to help people. Maybe my rambling nonsense will help someone else not feel so alone. Or make someone laugh when they feel down. Or help connect people and make friends. This is the first post damn it, don’t pressure me!!!

If there is anything I post at any time that you love, please feel free to share. The only thing I ask is that you give credit. Only douchebags post something that isn’t theirs and claims it is. And I know you aren’t a douchebag. Comment on my posts! Let me know you are there! Let me know if you have suggestions on what to post. What do you love, what do you hate?

Let’s take this journey together and see what happens, shall we?

PS – I have to play around with the layout of this thing. The font is huge. Sorry about that. This is already hard.